"She makes others happy...She leaves a little sparkle wherever she goes..."

Friday, March 14, 2014

What Your Favorite Disney Pricess Says About You

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Ok, so I kind of really like Disney and kind of really LOVE a good Disney Princess. This is mostly related to my love of dressing up, glitter, and a good pair of false eyelashes. Plus, Vaseline on the teeth. Who DOESN'T love that?!

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As a result of my Disney love, I have taken all of those ridiculous Buzzfeed quizzes to determine what my favorite Disney Princess says about me. I think they are completely inaccurate and dumb, so I've created my own. This is what it REALLY says about you...

Girl, you can make magic happen with some Scrubbing Bubbles! You know your way around a Swiffer Wetjet and you can clean grout like no one's business. You may also know your way around 'shrooms (how else can we explain the talking mice and pumpkin turning into a carriage). You enjoy dancing and a stiff martini. 

You are a closet narcoleptic. You may be a mute. You definitely enjoy the music of Tchaikovsky and horticulture. You like your men in swanky, sophisticated outerwear, such as a cape. You enjoy dancing and if you lived in a different time, would probably enjoy high-kicking it with Nicky Kidman at the Moulin Rouge.

dat cape though...

Snow White
You are the little people's princess. You brake for animals. You suffer from claustrophobia and possibly some degree of social anxiety. Some may call you a "shut-in". Your favorite beauty product is Mac Russian Red lipstick, and Posh Spice is your favorite Spice Girl.

You are the poster-child for "nautical chic". You are likely a product of the '90s, and Zach Morris was your childhood crush. You may be an environmentalist and are a hard-core recycler (seashells for a bra, and a fork for a hairbrush, helllooooo). and your dream-date is Michael Phelps. 

You love to read (mostly back-issues of Cosmo and periodicals), but you don't own a library card. Your OKCUPID name is "Likes Them Hairy", and you're kind of a whiner. You may also frequent shrooms or other hallucinogenic drugs as you think inanimate objects are real. You and Cinderella could go into business Walter White/ Jesse Pinkman style. Plus, you're like, really pretty.

You are one hot tamale and you KNOW IT. You love the Kardashians and always know what is trendy. Sephora is your mecca, you love a man with a tool belt and/or harem pants, and your favorite type of music is gangsta rap.

You are a woman who wields a spatula and you are not afraid to use it. No, but seriously, you are a fierce chef and an amazing hostess. You may have hoped that Martha Stewart would have had to face a longer jail sentence so that you could have swooped in and become the next big thing. You love a good fleur de lis and anything related to the Big Easy, and you get seriously annoyed when people ask you if Popeye's Chicken tastes anything like the chicken in New Orleans. Spoiler alert: It doesn't. 

You love burlap, mason jars, antiquing, and wine-bottle crafting. You might like to canoe, kayak, or engage in other river bend water sports. You are an outdoors woman and find beauty in odd woodland animals such as raccoons and opossums. You probably have very defined calf muscles, and enjoy Willow Smith's I Whip My Hair (Back & Forth).

You generally shirk at most conventional gender roles and are a human and civil rights advocate. You likely volunteer at the local humane shelter. You are opinionated, determined, and you do what you want. Your favorite "Friends" character is Phoebe. 

WHO DOES YOUR HAIR!? Seriously, you must use a product made from the tears of Swiss virgin milkmaids or something because no one's hair looks good all the time. You are optimistic, and a total morning person, but you still drink 3 cups of coffee (at minimum) every morning. You mostly drink coffee because you have a super cute travel tumbler that you love to use on your morning commute. Your favorite song is "Sympathy of the Devil" by Rolling Stones.

You are confident, fearless, and Katniss is your spirit animal. You don't care what people think of you, and do what you say you will do. You want to be a role model because your role model growing up was Vanessa Hudgins and she really went off the deep end, guys. You know that you are different, but you aren't afraid to let your freak flag fly.

You are responsible for this nasty winter. Go find a toboggan and take a hike.

You are the quintessential girl-next-door. Your spunk and optimism are contagious. You believe in yourself and in the capabilities of others. You love a good boy band  and wish Mandy Moore would come out with a new single already! It's been like 10 years! #letitgo #toosoon? #adeledazeem

John Travolta Had the Worst Name Fail in History

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