"She makes others happy...She leaves a little sparkle wherever she goes..."

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

On Shopping at Target

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When I was traveling as a sorority consultant, every so often, you had to ask members of the chapter to take you to pick up some essentials, like shampoo or deodorant. Most of the time, they would take you to the local Walmart (because what college town doesn't have a Walmart), but every now and again, they would take you to TARGET. If that wasn't a "Jefferson's" feeling (movin on up...) then I don't know what would be.

Bright lights, the smell of popcorn, Starbucks, and new shoes, and the big red bullseye are enough to calm even my most rattled nerves. A sense of calm often rushes over me because no matter how crazy life is on the outside is, I know that I can always ALWAYS get a lint roller for a dollar, and some Covergirl mascara in the check-out line. These things are constants.

A Guide to Shopping at Your Local Target
what a shopping trip with me looks like

Part 1- The Dollar Section

Nine times out of ten, I enter Target with a list of things I need. Also nine times out of ten, I leave with more than is on my list. I believe that the first contributor to this is the Dollar Section. I always hit this up first since it is right inside the door. I'll tell you what, I do not ever come into that store and need sticky note pads, Goo Gone, some Disney Princess socks (kids size. I have small feet, what of it!?), and tiny spools of ribbon. But you better believe I throw those in my cart. Why? Because they are a dollar and being in there makes me feel like a millionaire. #makeitrain

make it rain animated GIF

Part 2: Beauty and Personal Items

The next area that I often peruse if the Beauty section. It is most likely that I'm gonna head to some lipsticks and lip stains first. I will debate for several minutes about purchasing a lipstick in a burnt raisin hue, and then ultimately decide against it. Rather, I will purchase yet another berry colored lip product, because the 4 that I have in my purse currently are not enough. I will next peruse the nail polish, seriously consider buying a few, then remember that I hate doing my own nails.  I typically skip the hair products and go straight for the body care items. I will peruse the Burt's Bees section for entirely too long and will add none of it to my cart. I really never got the appeal of Burt's Bees, with the exception of their hand lotion and lip balm. I will venture away from this section excited to try my 5th berry colored lip product that will more than likely look exactly like the others in my purse...

Part 3: Household Products

I typically do the most damage here between buying Swiffer Sweepers, random all-purpose cleaners, and cleaning wipes. I like to pretend that I'm a super domestic diva and have all this cleaning business figured out, but, truly, I'm average at best.


cleaning animated GIF


cleaning animated GIF   cleaning animated GIF

Part 4: Grocery Aisles

I hate grocery shopping just as much as the next gal, but doing it at Target makes it that much better. At least I can enjoy the smell of popcorn and new shoes while I get down to business. The only thing that could make it better is if there were free samples...but everyone knows that's what Sam's is for! Lastly...everyone knows that grocery aisles are the best places to practice your tap dancing...flap flap flap ball change, am I right?!

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Part 5: Home Goods

Y'all, I love a good Target candle. I am convinced that they burn longer than Bath & Body Works candles and they are half the price (don't tell Jen from Wisconsin. See video below. Seriously watch it. The whole thing.). So you know imma be picking  a few of those up. Oh, and here is a cool contraption for us to hang our keys on at home. Into the cart. Additionally, this canvas would look really cool on my gallery wall. Need it.

Now I'm having early onset buyer's remorse about that lipstick, so back it goes.

Part 6: Clothing

Here's where it gets a little scary:
Extra long tank tops, 2 for $20- NEED
Athletic socks for DK- NEED
A cardigan covered in some whimsical print- Into the cart
Send my sister to put aforementioned canvas back. I have another case of early onset buyer's remorse
Yoga pants- Why yes I need another pair
Infinity scarf- absolutely.
Send my sister to put one of the candles back. That premature buyer's remorse is killer.
Undershirts for DK- he needs another half dozen
Fuzzy socks- 100% need
Send my sister to put back Swiffer Sweepers
Do I need this cardigan? Would it get along well with the other cardigans in my closet?

Part 7: Check Out

Any Target customer knows that the check-out aisle is nearly as dangerous as the dollar section. 
Four AA batteries for a dollar? YES. Lint roller? Sure I need another one of those. Plastic Disney Princess figurine? Might look cute on my desk. Magazine featuring Kim Kardashian on the cover? What are they up to these days anyway, those Krazy K's!
Do I have a Redcard? You bet I do. Do I have any coupons on Cartwheel? Who doesn't!?

My total is $101?! All I bought was some cleaning wipes, 2 candles, some socks and undershirts for DK and a whimsical cardigan!?!? Oh well...I've got the receipt. I can always take stuff back*.
*Editor's note- I wont take anything back

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