Having Morgan as a Supervisor: Guest Blog Edition

Pin It Today's post comes from two silly ladies that I have the pleasure of working with on a daily basis. They approached me and asked if they could write a guest post and I said they absolutely could! 

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On Having Morgan as a Supervisor

"So not only do we have the greatest job ever, getting to travel the country for an organization that we love, we also get to work with the great supervisor. Morgan.

With the purpose of being hilarious but also giving Morgan more reason to think she’s awesome, we thought guest blogging would be the greatest.

Here it is, the list that everyone needs to know….

Top 5 reasons Morgan Kaplan is the greatest supervisor (We would like to plug that the other Supervisors are also wonderful, we are just a little biased).

1. She uses hashtags in emails. Not only are these ridiculously placed in emails they also include words like #rockstar #fancy #thefanciest #bogus.
2. With talking a lot on the phone one can really see how a person processes information. We all have those “filler words” that we like to throw in while we are just need some time to think. Morgan loves “sure” or “for sure” and also a personal favorite, “you know what, you know what, you know what!” Also, you can almost always tell what Morgan is thinking through her facial expressions.

*Eye roll*= not amused

*Furrowing of the brows*= you can’t be serious

*Eye glare* = “don’t even think about it”

3. Morgan is a let’s get down to business type of person. However, when asking “how are you, Morgan or what’s up, Morgan” we would bet on the fact she will ALWAYS mention Frances Bean. No shame in the dog-loving MK.
4. We always get a good chuckle about how Morgan’s dream job is to be a Rockette. While she may lack the height requirement, we still believe she would be the GREATEST. We also know this because she is an amazing
5. Our personal favorite: “the list”. In our 1:1’s (as with all supervisors) there is the magical “list” about what we need to discuss. However, the best part with Morgan (you must read the Target blog post to understand) is we can only imagine all these sticky notes posted around her desk (in an organized fashion, of course).

Honorable Mention: She doesn’t ask twice for us to get things done. Wait…. that’s probably because we are awesome and get stuff done like #rockstars but ok, back to why Morgan is awesome.

We must say that there is never a dull moment with Morgan and yes, we are just trying to be funny, but we also think she is truly the best! "

It's the Little Things

Pin It I'm not super into New Years Resolutions. This year, Mr. K and I took kind of an overall approach to resolutions and simply have stated that we can "do better". Do better in eating right. Do better in exercising. Do better in traveling more. Do better in being more positive and optimistic. Do better in being grateful and appreciating the little things.

In an effort to help us with that last one, I actually bought Mr. K and I tear-off calendars for our work desks. They are "The Calendar of Awesome". Each day is a new "awesome little thing". For example, January 1 was "the first scoop out of a brand new jar of peanut better". Awesome! It's fun to tear off each day and think about all of those little things that make life great. Today, we will feature my own list of awesome little things:

The smell of coffee in the morning

Putting on comfy shoes (in my case, Ugg slippers) after being in heels all day

Finally getting into your seat on the plane after a long travel day.

Bonus if it's a window seat!

The satisfying "pop" of opening up a champagne bottle

Waking up in the middle of the night thinking it's time to get up. Checking your clock and seeing you still have 3 hours to sleep

The first day Starbucks brings back the Pumpkin Spice Latte in the fall

Fuzzy socks

Cuddles with sweet puppies

Getting mail. The good kind, like a card or note from a friend. None of that bill or jury duty notice crap!

The first night in bed after you have washed your sheets

When Olivia Pope says:

Perfectly twisting apart an Oreo

Getting your nails done

Laughing until your sides hurt

This clip never fails to make me laugh

When a deadline is extended

When a restaurant serves Coke, not Pepsi

Seeing old friends and catching up like no time has passed

Cheese fries

Fresh flowers 

That first feeling of relief after you have been dreading something

The smell of gasoline 

Ok, whatever, some people like fresh cut grass, I like gasoline, ok!? Get off me!

Monday Moments

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Monday Moments

Some moments to appreciate from one of my favorite funny ladies, Amy Poehler, this Monday morning. Let's make this week a great one!

What Your Favorite Kardashian Says About You

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They're America's First Family of Reality TV, and also the first family that we are all first to crap on. Whether you like them in public or private, there is no denying that this is one family that knows a thing or two about making a buck and staying relevant. And, whether you like them publicly or privately, we all know you have a favorite. So, without futher adieu, here is what your favorite Kardashian says about you:


Kris Jenner: The Matriarch

You're a mama-bear-type with a heart of gold...it might be tarnished, knock-off, back-of-a-Chinatown-van gold, but gold nontheless. You value an independant women with an entrepreneural spirit, and love a good vase filled with hydrangea...forget that baby's breath crap! Kate Gosselin may or may not be your spirit animal, but you are likely not admitting publicly.




Kourtney Kardashian: Pseudo Crunchy Granola Sweet 
(+10 points if you caught that Fosse piece reference)

You've got a little bit of an Earth-Mama thing going on, but not in a super weird, super crunchy way. You probably enjoy using all-natural products from Lush, and you may even be a proponant of all the kale propaganda being tossed around these days. You are stylish, but you probably value comfort and function more than some other Kardashians that we know.




Kim Kardashian-West: The Drama Queen

Cry YOU a river. You love a good gossip sesh, and you probably enjoy a good nachos nosh from time to time. You love your Instagram, you own a selfie stick, and you have perfected the "blue steel smolder". You love to look good, loathe sweatpants, but will make an exception for yoga pants. You think it's chic to name your child after a cardinal direction.



Khloe Kardashian: Keepin it Real

You don't take krap from nobody! You say what you think and you mean what you say. You love to work out and love a good gym selfie. You definitely aren't about the drama like some other Kardashans that we know. You love to be silly and make others laugh.Yoga pants are a staple, but so are sky-high heels and Spanx. Your spirit animal is Scott Disick.




Rob Kardashian: ......

You like socks. You also enjoy designing socks.



Scott Disick: The Lord

Though he is not a Kardashian in name, this dandy knows how to work a cravat and a smoking jacket. You enjoy the finer things in life, be that cars, yachts, fancy cigars, or more smoking jackets. You have a penchant for royalty and the monarchy in general. You don't take youself too seriously, unless it's regarding your Instagram game...in which case, you're serious as a heart attack.






Best Scott Disick moment in the entire Kardashian series

Throwback Thursday: A '90s/early aughts childhood

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Throwback Thursday:

 A '90s/early aughts childhood

It's been said that our generation was the greatest generation. Actually, I think I've said that, but the history books may favor sometime in the 1950s or something, I don't know. Anyway, I've said this because we had some pretty sweet toys, some cool processed snack treats, and we were the last generation to not have to deal with social media as a facet of everyday life. I mean we had AOL Instant Messenger, but that was it. In honor of this forgotten time, we will examine some of the latest and greatest relics from this time.

Surge soda: a recipe for hyperactivity and bad skin

Back then, you were only as cool as the pop served at your party. Forget that Pepsi crap. Surge was where it was at. For those nugget readers who were too young or in utero during the height of Surge fame and weren't able to try it, I would equate it to a Mountain Dew with far more sugar. I saw some crazy things go down when people were on the surge. I saw some serious acne develop from folks having a penchant for Surge. Based on these recollections, you might be thinking that Surge is a euphemism for meth. It isn't. It seriously was just a soda.

Ribbon Dancer: Dancin' in the Street

"Ribbon dancer up and down, dancin' in the street (come on and do it)"

Yes, that was the ad song. Encouraging youths to dance in the street and not even warning them to look both ways first! That's some malarkey if I ever heard it. Yep, a stick with some ribbon at the end, sold for $19.95, entertained us for hours. It made us think that we, too, could be in the Olympics. Or at the very least, be in a talent show.

The 1996 Olympic Dream Team

Speaking of the Olympics, the 1996 Olympic Gymnastic team? They were IT. Forget Brittney, Mariah, and Shania. The "Magnificent Seven" as they were called were the coolest. Especially that little nugget, Dominique Moceanu. She was my girl. I know a lot of peeps liked that Kerri Strug (the one with the cast), but I just had so many issues with her hair. I couldn't get past it. I mean, she could never do a Beyonce hair whip if she WANTED TO. I mean, I have short-ish hair, but even I can 

make it work. Sorry, Kerri. No cigar for you, babe.

The Dancing Baby

Ooga chaka, ooga ooga ooga chaka. I definitely didn't understand the dancing baby then, but I sure thought it was funny enough to put a key chain of him on my backpack at school. For those of you who remember the TV show 'Ally McBeal', the title character would have these visions of a baby dancing everywhere. It was supposed to be a reminder, or I would dare say a taunt, at her biological clock continuously ticking. All I know it that it was funny to watch the baby dance his saucy little moves.

SqueezIts

You will notice the packaging says "100% Real Fruit Juice". That is a blatant lie. That was sugar water. We had a major SqueezIt issue in my family. Everyone was obsessed with them. My sister would basically only drink the blue ones, which was fine with me because I hate blue flavored things. There was a pretty serious blue SqueezIt incident of 1995 that I won't go into here, but you can certainly ask my sister about it.

Beanie Babies: Bean-filled-felt-sack-with-eyes-phenomena

Y'all, I can't even tell you how important these were to my life as a kid. We would go nuts for them. In fact, whenever we would be somewhere with our parents, we would be walking anyway...even into a gas station, and my dad would pretend to read a sign and say, "Beanie Babies, $5.99!" and we would absolutely FLIP. We had them all. I'm fairly certain we had every one shown above in that photo, but we also had the Ireland one, and the Princess Diana one. In fact, there was a pretty serious incident with my sister and I over the Princess Diana bear. We had been arguing over whose room Princess Diana could reside in one day and my dad was tired of the fighting. Unbeknownst to us, he took Princess Diana and hid her. My sister and I went nuts looking for it, assessing blame, screaming, tearing rooms apart. I convinced my sister that she lost it and should basically pack up her belongings and start walking to my grandparents house (a mere 10 minute walk down the street, but knowing my sister, it probably would have taken her 2 hours) because this would be her new home. She could not be trusted in our home any longer. Well, my sister starts walking, gets maybe 3 houses down from ours, and my parents pull up. Morgan got in some trouble that day. Princess Diana was recovered and set up in my family room, on top of our desktop computer monitor, for all to enjoy.

On Shopping at Target

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When I was traveling as a sorority consultant, every so often, you had to ask members of the chapter to take you to pick up some essentials, like shampoo or deodorant. Most of the time, they would take you to the local Walmart (because what college town doesn't have a Walmart), but every now and again, they would take you to TARGET. If that wasn't a "Jefferson's" feeling (movin on up...) then I don't know what would be.

Bright lights, the smell of popcorn, Starbucks, and new shoes, and the big red bullseye are enough to calm even my most rattled nerves. A sense of calm often rushes over me because no matter how crazy life is on the outside is, I know that I can always ALWAYS get a lint roller for a dollar, and some Covergirl mascara in the check-out line. These things are constants.

A Guide to Shopping at Your Local Target

what a shopping trip with me looks like

Part 1- The Dollar Section

Nine times out of ten, I enter Target with a list of things I need. Also nine times out of ten, I leave with more than is on my list. I believe that the first contributor to this is the Dollar Section. I always hit this up first since it is right inside the door. I'll tell you what, I do not ever come into that store and need sticky note pads, Goo Gone, some Disney Princess socks (kids size. I have small feet, what of it!?), and tiny spools of ribbon. But you better believe I throw those in my cart. Why? Because they are a dollar and being in there makes me feel like a millionaire. #makeitrain

Part 2: Beauty and Personal Items

The next area that I often peruse if the Beauty section. It is most likely that I'm gonna head to some lipsticks and lip stains first. I will debate for several minutes about purchasing a lipstick in a burnt raisin hue, and then ultimately decide against it. Rather, I will purchase yet another berry colored lip product, because the 4 that I have in my purse currently are not enough. I will next peruse the nail polish, seriously consider buying a few, then remember that I hate doing my own nails.  I typically skip the hair products and go straight for the body care items. I will peruse the Burt's Bees section for entirely too long and will add none of it to my cart. I really never got the appeal of Burt's Bees, with the exception of their hand lotion and lip balm. I will venture away from this section excited to try my 5th berry colored lip product that will more than likely look exactly like the others in my purse...



Part 3: Household Products

I typically do the most damage here between buying Swiffer Sweepers, random all-purpose cleaners, and cleaning wipes. I like to pretend that I'm a super domestic diva and have all this cleaning business figured out, but, truly, I'm average at best.

Perception:



Reality:

  



Part 4: Grocery Aisles

I hate grocery shopping just as much as the next gal, but doing it at Target makes it that much better. At least I can enjoy the smell of popcorn and new shoes while I get down to business. The only thing that could make it better is if there were free samples...but everyone knows that's what Sam's is for! Lastly...everyone knows that grocery aisles are the best places to practice your tap dancing...flap flap flap ball change, am I right?!



Part 5: Home Goods

Y'all, I love a good Target candle. I am convinced that they burn longer than Bath & Body Works candles and they are half the price (don't tell Jen from Wisconsin. See video below. Seriously watch it. The whole thing.). So you know imma be picking  a few of those up. Oh, and here is a cool contraption for us to hang our keys on at home. Into the cart. Additionally, this canvas would look really cool on my gallery wall. Need it.

Now I'm having early onset buyer's remorse about that lipstick, so back it goes.

Part 6: Clothing

Here's where it gets a little scary:
Extra long tank tops, 2 for $20- NEED
Athletic socks for DK- NEED
A cardigan covered in some whimsical print- Into the cart
Send my sister to put aforementioned canvas back. I have another case of early onset buyer's remorse
Yoga pants- Why yes I need another pair
Infinity scarf- absolutely.
Send my sister to put one of the candles back. That premature buyer's remorse is killer.
Undershirts for DK- he needs another half dozen
Fuzzy socks- 100% need
Send my sister to put back Swiffer Sweepers
Do I need this cardigan? Would it get along well with the other cardigans in my closet?


Part 7: Check Out

Any Target customer knows that the check-out aisle is nearly as dangerous as the dollar section. 
Four AA batteries for a dollar? YES. Lint roller? Sure I need another one of those. Plastic Disney Princess figurine? Might look cute on my desk. Magazine featuring Kim Kardashian on the cover? What are they up to these days anyway, those Krazy K's!
Do I have a Redcard? You bet I do. Do I have any coupons on Cartwheel? Who doesn't!?

My total is $101?! All I bought was some cleaning wipes, 2 candles, some socks and undershirts for DK and a whimsical cardigan!?!? Oh well...I've got the receipt. I can always take stuff back*.
*Editor's note- I wont take anything back

A Non-Gym-Beast's Guide to Your Local Fitness Club

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Happy New Year!

Here's a little dose of truth serum to start the new year: fitness and health related goals are the number 1 resolutions made by Americans. However, only about 8% are actually successful in achieving their goal, and only 46% of people maintain their efforts toward said goal 6 months after setting it. For more stats on this topic (and tips for keeping your resolutions!), visit this link.

Another dose of truth is that my personal relationship with gyms and fitness has been fickle. About 2 years ago, I joined a popular, local private gym. We'll call it Gym1. It was a nice facility with all the bells, whistles, classes, and lessons that you could want. I enrolled in personal training, which was both fun and terrible. I really hated going, but I loved how accomplished I felt after. My relationship with Gym1 started to dwindle when my trainer and I started having differing opinions on my fitness goals and regime. I didn't want to scream, grunt, and yell when I did stuff: it's just not my style. I had a problem when I would come to the gym to do some cardio and light weight lifting and he would interrupt me on the elliptical and argue with me about the level or speed (this would go for so long that my time on the elliptical would reset completely) at which I was moving. I realized he was starting to control my gym experience and I promptly stopped training with him. I started to become intimidated by even going to the facility because he would stop me anytime he saw me and lecture me about what I was doing, how much weight I had or hadn't lost, and why I stopped training with him. I then decided that Gym1 was not my jam. Unfortunately, I'm an indentured servant to them until April, buuuuut that's neither here nor there. 

**Disclaimer** let me also say that this gym is a great gym, and that there are incredible trainers and staff there. My husband still belongs there and goes regularly, but it just wasn't the place for me.

My next (and current) gym experience is at a place we will call Gym2. I've been at this gym for just under a year and have been really pleased so far. It is much more laid back, fewer bells and whistles, but I feel comfortable there, which is reason enough for me.The biggest thing that I have learned through my diverse experiences at these fitness facilities is how to navigate the ebbs and flows of the gym regulars. With that, I give you:

A Non-Gym-Beast's Guide to your Local Fitness Club
*Let me put out a disclaimer that I am not a gym snob, just an observant snob*

The Lulu Ladies

I feel comfortable categorizing these ladies because I feel as though this is probably the one that I most closely identify with. These ladies go to the gym to get in shape, yes, but also because they like the outfits. #guilty. They most often frequent the elliptical, and those machines for your thighs that look like a more appropriate version of a thigh-master. They are likely watching HGTV and making lists on their iPhone.


The Sprinters

I really get irritated by these folks because you can't tell me that a little warm-up ever hurt nobody. These are the guys and gals who hop on the treadmill and immediately set it for like an 8 and just sprint and keep sprinting, making those of us who do a nice brisk walking warm up at a 3.5 or 4 look like chumps. Want to know why I don't do that? Because THIS:





The Clueless Ones

The cool thing about most gym machines is they have handy dandy diagrams on them that show you how to use them correctly. I sometimes just don't understand when you've got the folks that just start walking around with dumbbells balanced on their shoulders, or drape a yoga mat over their shoulders like a cape. Can someone help me understand? Stay away from these guys...they are too dangerous.




The Overachiever

You know the ones. They were the Sprinters earlier, are lifting the absolute heaviest weights, and even attempting this nonsense:


Stay away from them...they just make you look bad!


So here's to you, non-gym-beast. May you be part of the 8% this year!